You. The Things You Do To Me .. (Now I'm livin' in ecstacy)

Remember when - the first time we met?

You made me a mix tape, of your very first set

That Razor mix of Rain, made me wet

I played it over and over, dripping sweat.

My 23rd Birthday, was 1999

You came with, Garret, who thought he was fine

Blake introduced us,and quickly we bonded

later that weekend, limelight responded

went back to your place, where you played some more beats

that sounded more, like cats in heat

train wreck would be a compliment, but you were cute

so we kept our mouths shut, and believed in you

Slowly but shurly, year after year

your skills got better, and so did your ear

you could pick the tracks with such precision

those afterparties on 19th street were something to mention

Our friendship grew, over the years

we had our fare share of excitement and tears

Twilo sealed the deal, making us a pact

to dance forever, crack or no crack

we traveled all over, to tear up the floor

all the way to Disney, making Mickey a hoar

One thing though, through it all

My certainty in you, was never small

I knew when I met you, that you were fierce

That you would conquor, all of those queers

Now look at you, with your boxes of shit

lugging it around the globe, no vallet boy yet ?

Making history, like those DJ's before

Junior and Victor paved the way, a solid core

Now just go

and do your thing

and be sure not to

forget

who

is

the

queen.

:)

I love you, Scotty T

Learn more about DJ Scott Thomson

at scottyt.com

Down Deeper

In deep, 

dig way down

deeper than ever before

A little scary that's for sure

What was it like then back before?

Undefined commitment

 was part of a slew of problems - at the core

 (not to mention a bad case of the whore)

Adorable and sweet,

ripe little piece, 

Italian meat

was the one 

right before, comparison, there is none

From boy to man, 

for sure I am 

done

Down deeper

Dig to done

Flying colors have won

Building bridges, melding hearts

Down deeper it starts

Down dig deep go down

I am found

Sacred scientists 

can confirm

A huge sacrifice, required to earn

Who doeant like Big explosions?

But too much temporary 

causes 

erosion.

Go down 

deep to that place

Were death is in no trace

Lingering around

Keeping you bound

Bound is involuntary

Unconditional love, revolutionary

You have no choice but 

to 

surrender

Laws of the universe

not to Hinder

Compromise safety that you never had before.

Running from yourself the old part of you, 

sad

Before.

Mac Attack, The Pull Came Back

I smell Mcdonald's

It's calling my name

I give in, I'm totally to blame

Two AM hunger cries,

The air of those evil fries

Like a feast for royalty, at this hour

alcohol saturation, turned me sour

Something about, the THICK mayonaise layer

Glossed over fried chicken, makes heart burn a stayer

Cures my hangover, not sure how

the taste is delicious, at least for right now

So I'll enjoy this moment

quick

hope I don't 

get

sick

Ode to Canal Street.

Ladies on a tour, from Alabama
Church on Sunday, 

a shopping spree
Looking for goods to make them feel complete.
Louis like, looks real niceConvincing the girl's back home of its high price.
Here's to the man on the corner 

  selling bubble machines and cell phone chargers
To passer-by's on their way back to jersey.

No mercy
Here on center and canal

Supply and demand
People glassed over, stand
They congregate and corral
 folks from all over

All I want is my coffee
And a fucking bulldozer

I get the attraction
Who am I to judge ?
It's quick satisfaction
I shouldn't hold a grudge

One day Disney will come
Clean up the canal, erase all the fun
The rent will skyrocket selling "views of the bridge"
A little studio apartment, with bearly a fridge.
That little home will cost you 3 grand
You will think that is cheap, and you have the upperhand.
So I guess I'll keep my mouth shut
Greatfully sit 
sip my coffee and write my shit

Irrational Creation's of the Creative Mind

Led into a different direction -

not wanting to edit, or make a correction, 

Feeling like the road is agape

what is around the corner you can not 

escape

the irrational creation that you devise

a lie of the mind, you inside despise 

who know's when, or if, you'll ever catch up

until it comes to a screeching halt, instantly abrupt.

Ever feel like you can't hear the truth?

the lies that we create are a product of our youth

I am of no use.

to my own verbal abuse

It's fine if you wan't a story 

I'm creative, I'll give you forty

but if you want verity 

the lie

provides no clarity

will not

stand.

I am one man

- fully grown

who has to make choices, in which I have to own

we are all - one in the same

my words are mine, no-one to blame

If you are willing to hear

there has to be an ear

The Truth

requires

more.

A Simple Solution to Pain and Suffering

42                                           

What do you know about the most powerful number in the world? 

[Google it]

אבג  יתצ

קרע  שטנ

נגד  יקש

בטר  צתג

חקב  טנע

יגל  פזק 

            שקן  צית

Korach's Wrath

Power struggles are a rampid disease
Hard to ignore, impossible to please
Plague stricken
Cause; wicken
Sadness around is a sign
Aknowledge it as theirs, not mine

irresponsible error

ensuing terror
But I can't be oblivious 

anymore
My purpose

to share

is at the core
Cant keep serving

 my head in a cloud
Pretending not to notice,

 under schroud
Waiting for the energy to pass
As their cries for help 

amass

What am I supposed to do?
Be there for her 

 not you?
Share my shoulder?
Be brave, brother older?

Earthquakes aren't coincidental
Our conciousness is 

supremely monumental
A lonely thought, an unneccesary panic
Creates heartache, 

humanity manic
I am there for you
Soul to soul
Graciously whole

Moments in refection of a Guido I never met

My friend William would tell me stories of the scenes that took place in his apartment in the East Village, Circa, 1980's. This is an excerpt of one of those stories of a dear friend he lost to AIDS. My emphatic response follows

1/22/05

“…Then there was Guido. When Guido lived here he used to put on these 4” pumps and march around the apartment cooking and cleaning “he made every effort to make sure this little apartment had all the feeling of a luxurious palace that only kings and queen lived in” He chuckled in that deep raspy baritone voice. “Well, we were queens, I guess weren’t we”  “ No no .. WE are STILL queens” I insisted taking a puff of my Marlboro.

When I walked across the room, I pondered the crowd, questioning their luck

I was so drunk and stupid I didn’t give a fuck.

I fell over everyone and acted like a buffoon.

Pranced around drenched in chiffon, colour: bright maroon.

 

I looked good. At least I thought I did.

Held together in pubic, but ugly when I hid.

When the coke fell

My head would swell.

My heart would race

Running to keep up pace.

I always wanted to be something I wasn’t.

I never liked who I was, told myself I couldn’t.

 

I am beautiful, so they all tell me

Back home in Caracas, they don’t acknowledge “he”

Nueva York has given me hope

Even if it takes a whole lotta dope

 

The lie can only last so long

The game was so tiresome, ridiculously wrong.

Why do you think I’m go great?

When all I see is just pure hate?

 

Is it the drugs I supply you? Tell me, why?

Is it my tight mussy, Or the Style I imply?

 

Is it the black American express card?

Can u please just tell me, does that make you hard?

 

It’s all just an act. All just a game.

In fact, you don’t even know my real name.

 

 

Democracy Fake / Fake Democracy

Democracy Fake/Fake Democracy

Paradox of ideal

What's the deal ? 

Are we living, in a fake democracy ? 

 should we fake democracy to get us where ?

Or wipe your ass with it, just cause it's there.

Plague your thoughts, 

but don't let it rot. 

Something to ponder

get your ticket to wonder

to a far off land

where democracies actually stand

The great news is you have the upper hand. 

USNAVI !

"In The Heights"
Woah man check it out
Met this Dude names usnavi this is what he's about.
Way up there on the A train
Far from Chinatown, (where I play my game)

Washington heights is his little DR
Hangin with abuleta and his hottie, Ms. PR
La corner bodega is his oasis

Dishin out light and sweet without and traces
Of neglesct
He takes care of his homies with
Mad respect
if U get a second go and visit him
He's shackin up on 46 with em
Singin his heart out, tellin a story
About a boy who dreams of glory
Now he will go down in history
Because IN THE HEIGHTS is no mystery

Static on the vibe

Static on the vibe
Love flying high, legal diatribe
55 years is not enough
You gotta still give those ladies gruff?

Legislation is a joke
Telling me who I can poke
I have faith in people, this time
Not like the last, out of their mind
When the whole thing went up in smoke
All those couple's left for broke
Fucked, so they thought
Until Cali made wrought

For you it may not mean so much
But can u imagine this as such;
Going through your life
Not being able to marry your wife ?

If you have any say in the matter
Stand up, raise your hand, open your chatter
This bill must be passed
We can't live in the past.

Lament for the Fat Kid in us all ..

I was at a newsstand and I found it highly ironic that these two magazines were situated right next to each other. How much more American can we get ?

SO I took a picture of it. The picture brought up so much from my own childhood. I always wanted to be He-Man. I acted more like She-Ra and looked more like Shamu. I digress .. 

I was a fat little kid, with a really big head
Had a few friend's, didn't wet the bed.

I was gracious and sweet, one of the good boys
Always letting people, even you, play with my toys.
I loved Strawberry Shortcake
So the girls were my mainstake.
A little queer
Very few applauding cheer
Loved parading in Gramma's high heels,
Certainly not playing with fiery hot wheels.
I loved my twinkies,
and other boy's winkies.

I wanted to be Madonna
then I could get them all to jump on da'
fantasty wagon (for sure - it was pink)
Not for the football team ? Ya think ?

Through all that swish,
I held onto a wish
That my life would be fulfilling, complete
So far so good, I have laid some concrete

My Movie

Off shore drilling 

Iraq billing

soldiers willing.

This isn't my movie. 

Heartland Flooding

Egos Budding

Economy Crudding.

Edit the script.

Producer, pussy whipped.

This isn't gonna sell

people living in hell ?

Fire the cast.

the drama won't last.

enter stage right.

long shot, in tight

Ought-oh 

here we go

leading man

has upper hand

Strong like Bull

Can't resist the pull

Solid heart

straight from the start

Can't get distracted

career moves impacted

This one is sold

the public's fascination bold

Trusts in me

when it isn't easy

He's the person

who erased the worsen

renewing chances of love-falling 

before he was calling.

doesn't matter what is around

the finished product is perfectly sound

The process is the key

enjoy the essence of "we"

That old shit was lackluster

this one's a blockbuster.

Print.

Another Monday's Grim Face, 3rd Base Best Case

I thought this day would never end,

I did the same thing, over and over again.

Fake it til' you make it will make me want to break it !

Balancing beam

Lucid Dream

Not so crop of the cream.

Where there is escape

one can be sure to look 

out the window, around the nook.

The simple smell of fresh peonies, 

makes my heart tango in Buenos Aires, 

I would give anything to go back,

in a second, I would pack.

Reality set in. 

COME TO THE HERE THE NOW

THE WHEN?

Got distracted later, by a shadow of grey

in front of me, 6"ft. somethin' away.

A star today, 

(not even in my galaxy)

perhaps a reminder to me,

a dream is not a fallacy.

I wonder if he has days when he begs why?

I wonder if he has a lapse in momentary fulfillment that make him cry

wondering himself, am I listening to my good guy?

Sorta Kinda

I'm sorta kinda left out in the cold

for one too many times, this shit is getting old.

Kinda Sorta

Really fucking bored

with all the mindless conciousness

just jealousy's greedy hoard.

Sorta Kinda

makes me loose my mind

somewhere spiritually it's supposed to be kind.

Take down the detial's - Fast forward to rewind

Kinda Sorta 

think I should but it all behind.

Grasping a firm grip on the cord of the umbillical

I need to let go, embrace the satirical

So not funny, but cause for new order

I just wanna escape, run for the border

kinda sorta really need to let go

all the drama is a gripping blow.

Kinda Sorta

hear what you are sayin

You are stuck tryin' to balance what you are weighin'

You want it all but not sure how to get there

I can give you advice

that's all I can share

and a open heart to show you I care

BUT. I can't do it all for you, That's something you should know

The easy life is unhealthy, it won't help you grow.

I Kinda Sorta

think you should learn

this isn't the true reality, time to take another turn

Respect and prominence is something you've got to earn.

Don't look for me

when your hear it filled with anger

Don't look to your neighbor as if he's a stranger

Don't look for help when all you can do is hate

when your mind clears up, it might be too late.

Kinda Sorta

 hear my heart ?

Restitution

The seed was planted 

This is the garden.

Ted and I will tie the Knot, the last week of October. Today My "Best Man" and event planner (Role Played Today: Gardener) accompanied me to this amazing space where we ho

pe to commence our marriage. It is called the Angel Orensanz Foundation. The buildi

was constructed In 1845 and served as an Orthodox Synagogue to the then very Yiddish community in Manhattans Lower East Side. For nearly 20 years is was vandalized and abandoned and In 1994 The Angel Orensanz Foundation aquired the space and transformed it into a

 contemporary home for Art and Culture. It has been perfectly restored in

 rustic fashion that blends well with raw beauty and ancient Spirituality. 

The perfect place for two souls to become one who have waited 3000 years to be together.

RESTITUTION

I stood there, in front of the arc

closed my eyes, opened my heart

instantly, I heard the most beautiful sound

I knew then and there, this is the place to break new ground

to build the foundation of a lifetime together

do I really have this merit - to call it "forever".

Welcoming new souls, is our ultimate mission

to give a parentless child the home it's been wishin'

I hope to give hope to those who are in doubt

I am no celebrity, politician, or person with clout.

But I know for sure, it is every person's birthright

It's in the Zohar, My manual from the Light.

This is not a game, of right or wrong

it is just my intuition, singing the same song

telling me what its been telling me for so long

I pray to God that this paves the way

for another couple to have their say

in the presence of their sacred

without fear of the ignorance and hatred

I know there will be challenges that we are sure to face

people who will oppose coming to our place

Those "Holy people" who feel marriage is THEIR "sacred institution"

Will be unnerved at our Final Restitution.

Words to Loyal Spy

Oh what is this you say ? 

You peek and plot, then lead astray.

So you are stealthy. 

Coming to America and hanging with the wealthy.

Being amongst it all

you did a good job of putting up your wall.

I thought you were in, loving what we do

Being with the kids, getting real and showing them something new. 

But that is not so, as you have so clearly shown us

you canoe across the pond, only to vomit your options like oozing puss.

I am sorry you didn't get the lesson to learn, 

of tolerance and human dignity because your article was a burn.

Next time when you choose to write, think twice about your words 

you are affecting the lives of children everywhere,  whose voice usually goes unheard.

Eliminating Space/ Removing Death

What does it mean to live forever

in this body,  It's mind over matter.

Like little atoms held together by a molecule

removing the space is not impossible.

Today is the day, dawn of a new breed,

The Kabbalist's have told us for years - it is all we need.

Many will come together, 

not for gambling - or idle chatter.

but to eliminate space in between those atoms that keep us all together.

Unity is something we don't really get

you think your nice to your neighbor, until your temper becomes unfit.

Then it's all over and you have disconnected, 

No longer tied together and completely rejected.

Not so funny, when you take a second to think

you can't do shit alone, your titanic will sink.

When the ego is inflated

your karma is de-rated.

you will get it back 

and the universe will cut you no slack

Tap in tonight to the awesome energy 

something everyone needs - the essence of "We".

No time like the present ..

I'm enjoying this Saturday night. 

'Supposed to be at a party - but I just can't. 

It's way too hot outside and I haven't quite adjusted. Keepin' things low key tonight. 

Me and My ole' man.

I'm reminded of the day's when Saturday night's were spent slinging hash in some of New York's most bougie restaurants. 

When Success meant selling the pan seared foie gras special for that extra up charge. 

Guarantied to get me an extra pill 5 hours later in the depth's of Twilo's dark jungle. 

Those were the days. 

When Fashion was not even a word, unless Faraz was around.

Where there was no dance floor unless unless the DJ's name had a J or a V somewhere crypted within. 

Where the party didn't even begin until 4am. 

and it didn't until WAY after the sun came up (and then sometimes back down again) 

Now. 

Things haven't changed much. 

I will party tomorrow night, until way after the sun comes up. 

But the party isn't for pleasure 

it's for Immortality. 

The inevitable is upon us. 

LIVE FOREVER.

Drowning in the Hampton's ..

The picture to the left was taken inside an art installation. This particular piece was a constructed "building" that was inspired by the arabs and their places of story telling. This particular piece was constructed by a German artist and is made entirely of soda crates. 

  Nothing more need be said. This explains my friend Michael to a "T". It was purchased by his partner, Ken and sits lovingly (and perfectly) on Michael's side of the bed. 

Discovering something new .. Introducing DAVID HILLIARD

This weekend, my partner and I went to a fantastic "Kick off the summer party" in East Hampton. Through all the fun and excitement, (not to mention delicious pesto my friend Robert makes) I was introduced to a new artist that was featured in Robert and J's personal collection. His name is David Hilliard. Immediately, I was compelled to just stare at his photographs. Robert passed along a book which features a collection of David's works. I am now officially, Obsessed. go to davidhilliard.com to learn more about this amazing talent.

Roxanne

Roxanne,

I'm so thankful we met.
You are an angel, my sources would bet.

I've heard of you before
time and time again, I tried to ignore.

You came well respected
loved by all - never the rejected.

accurate and sweet
psychic powers collide and Finally meet !

So much more
changing the world, that's what's in store.

MORE MORE MORE.
I love you much, directly to the core.

In the Presence of the Light

Passing the strange, Back to before
Next to Normal, no glitz or galore.

Reviving the peeps, gripping the light
drowned ignorance, trying to make right

who the fuck did I think I was?
creeping and crawling with so-called tough love.
broodishly selfish, triumphantly faint
acting as though I am something I aint.

some holy person that I never was,
fake it til' you make it, that's what we does.

bring it to them
let them see
this is how life used to be.
only deeper, what's in store
is nothing you know
but could be so much more.

take my lead
now I stand corrected
I have grown a little
trying hard to miss affected.

I hope you can hear what I am trying to share
through the depth of my soul, I beg to show you care.

Abandon you - not
take my hand as I am with you
my favorite spot.